lollipopsandwhisky | (no subject)

[ It's hard to imagine that after thirty years of life, anything would or even could change. The world will keep spinning, day will turn to night, you will sleep next to a woman you married, you will blink, breathe and carry on like the world will never change. Because you know it won't.

Then it kicks you in the arse and throws a spanner in the works

Gabe had lived the same day over, and over for a good thirty years. He woke up to his wife shouting something about work, or a shirt not being ironed or some other benign bullshit. He watched her go, did his chores and headed out. Every day the same.

He went to work for a few hours, driving trains from point A to B like he always did. He said hi to his few friends, giving them a big wave as he left to go to a job he actually loved. He walked through the doors at three pm every day, helping the local shelter care for a feed some stray dogs. They were the closest thing he had to children after all.

Before he could realise it, it was half seven and he was wandering home- every day the fucking same.

But not that day. Either age was getting to him, the moon, or well a lack of variety, Gabe took it upon himself to take some time for himself. Which lead him to some stupid chain coffee shop he'd usually avoid at all costs. He wandered in, letting the smells take him over as he leant on the counter, waiting for someone to- Well, not notice him, he was the size of a house, but get the time to serve him.

Once his order was done, he was sort of excited, tapping his fingers on the side as he waited. Sure it was find of a funny sight seeing a huge man being excited about hot chocolate, but any change from the day to day rigmarole was exciting!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Gabe groaned, digging his fingers into the brick behind them as he watched Darryn seem to roll through emotions, watching him try to make a choice about this all.

He knew he needed to walk away from this all, he knew he did but he couldn't. Gravity put him there, the whole world had shifted for them to meet and now they had to drag themselves away from it. He whined when Darryn's head fell on him, the scent of the man filling his head with a dizzying drunkness he couldn't shake ]

//Then let go...//[ He was almost begging then ] //Push me away, let go of me and walk away because Darryn i can't. And if you don't i'm going to kiss you again, only i really won't let you walk away this time.

I don't want to hurt you either, but i can't make you let go//

[Darryn gritted his teeth rather than collapse into tears. He tried to focus on the begging in Gabe's tone rather than the words, tried to hear it as Gabe needing him to stop, hoping he could obey that.

[But he knew if he looked up at him he'd just kiss him again. He knew he couldn't believe that honestly, because he knew Gabe wanted him as much as he wanted Gabe.

[He opened his eyes and looked down Gabe's body to the floor at their feet. Then he focused on his hands clasped around Gabe's lapels. On the suns marked there under his skin. Five on each hand.

[His children were the only reason he let go, pushing himself up straight and pressing his hands back against the wall behind him. He turned his head up, looking at the wall of the building opposite rather than Gabe, just in case any looks weakened his resolve.

[He opened his mouth but couldn't say anything, closing it again with a shaky sigh.]

[ Gabe felt like all the air had been ripped from his lungs when Darryn back away. He swallowed hard before he nodded, moving back from Darryn. He knew he needed to do that, he needed to move away.

And that's what he was doing.

He took a step back till he hit the building opposite them, giving Darryn a slow nod as a broken smile moved over his face ] //Good lad...//

[ He shook his head before he said anything else, simply turning with a "Sorree" as he walked away. And that time he was determined to make it home ]