[Without Gabe there against him, Darryn wasn't sure what was holding him up anymore. He wanted to just drop down into a ball, wrap his arms over his head and cry. Cry from losing something he'd only momentarily had, cry from sick twisting guilt and self hatred, cry from somewhere deep inside himself he hadn't noticed was lacking before.
[He couldn't do that, but he didn't know what else to do. He felt stuck. So stuck that for a moment he was so far back in his lifetime, back when he was mortal and emotions had left him empty and alone. When people with their happy lives filtered past like sand in the wind while he was left standing stuck, still, trapped. Ten years old and dead while walking around; suddenly endless years later and he was right back there. In that old emotionless emotion. Like a horribly familiar blanket.
[Darryn realised he'd stopped breathing, and forced himself to take a breath. Forced himself back into THIS moment he had fucked up.]
//Its not your fault. I'm sorry. I should know better. I should...// [Go. That's what he needed to say. That he should go. Except he looked up and saw Gabe again.
[He grabbed at Gabe's coat again, moving back, rounding them around the side of the building. Slamming himself against the wall and pulling Gabe against him before he even caught what he was doing.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-10-21 12:22 am (UTC)[He couldn't do that, but he didn't know what else to do. He felt stuck. So stuck that for a moment he was so far back in his lifetime, back when he was mortal and emotions had left him empty and alone. When people with their happy lives filtered past like sand in the wind while he was left standing stuck, still, trapped. Ten years old and dead while walking around; suddenly endless years later and he was right back there. In that old emotionless emotion. Like a horribly familiar blanket.
[Darryn realised he'd stopped breathing, and forced himself to take a breath. Forced himself back into THIS moment he had fucked up.]
//Its not your fault. I'm sorry. I should know better. I should...// [Go. That's what he needed to say. That he should go. Except he looked up and saw Gabe again.
[He grabbed at Gabe's coat again, moving back, rounding them around the side of the building. Slamming himself against the wall and pulling Gabe against him before he even caught what he was doing.]
//You should stop me.//